Hedonia vs Eudaimonia

Wow a coupla big words but what the heck do they mean?  They both can bring happiness but in very different ways.  Hedonia can bring fleeting happiness in  the present moment like buying that new sweater but it's always self-serving and brief.  This, I think, is what our forefathers were thinking when they gave us the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness.  In this way, we are always looking for or pursuing happiness because the moments must be repeated in order for the happiness feelings to remain.

Eudaimonia on the other hand is longer lasting.  It is a form of happiness according to Shelley Levitt (2013)  that "is centered on fulfilling our potential; it's driven by virtue and a higher purpose:  service to others,"  (p. 41).  This, then is a much deeper form of happiness.  When we make others happy, we can't help but achieve a level of happiness in our own hearts.  If this weren't the case, there would be no volunteers, no good deeders, no helping an elderly person across the street.

But what of our purpose?  We've talked about purpose and finding meaning.  We find meaning in our days and therefore purpose in our lives. Purpose is the bigger picture made up of all the little meaningful things we do every day.  Smiling to a stranger on the street, holding the door open for a mother struggling with a stroller, or any other of the multitudes of little things we do all the time that we don't even think about.

So to pursuit happiness, stop looking for the next big thing to bring you happiness because they're will always need to be something else to fill you up.  Decide to take yourself off the hedonic treadmill that is this life and look towards other things that can help another.  This reminds me of a poem I wrote several decades ago (it's the only one I've ever written):

As you go thru life wondering

take a step beyond

where the sidewalk ends

for it is there you will find your dream

Levitt, S. (2013).  The New Pursuit of Happiness.  Live Happy,1, 38-45.

Loving Kindness

We had a nice discussion at the meeting last evening about compassion and loving kindness.  Compassion towards others we can all identify and don't have as hard a time doing.  But when it comes to loving kindness towards ourselves that can get a bit trickier, especially when everyone is so busy living their lives.  As wives, mothers, caregivers we often put others' needs before our own but eventually we suffer for it.  Too many withdrawals and not enough deposits makes for an empty loving kindness bank account.  This can lead to compassion fatigue, which helps no one and you end up burned out.

Some ideas the ladies had for self-care include simple everyday little things like coming to the meetings on Tuesday evenings, having a cup of tea, taking the time to read a book or going out for an activity without the husband or family.  We also talked about surrounding ourselves with color we like in our yarn choices or home decorating, objects in our homes that give a sense of warmth, meaning, or invoke memories.  Although possessions are not necessarily how we show ourselves loving kindness, they can be of great comfort in terms of making our domicile cozy and reflect who we are. 

I made a list of some of  my favorite things I do for self-care:  meditation, yoga, running, journal writing, having a cup of tea in my favorite mug, quilting, knitting, gratitude prayer, cooking.  I don't necessarily do all of them everyday but I do make an effort to do several.  As you can see from my simple list, they're not big things but little everyday things that don't take a lot of time or effort or money.  The quilting and knitting I always try to keep a project in progress so even if I only have a short amount of time, I can do a little.  Even 15 minutes can improve my spirits.

What do you do to show yourself compassion and loving kindness?  What do you do for others?  Are your withdrawals higher than your deposits?

Compassion

Tonight's theme will be compassion, not only for others but ourselves. I love this meditation
Loving Kindness Meditation

May I be well
May I be happy
May I be free from suffering

You could replace all the "I's" with "you" if you wanted to send loving kindness to another. Very simple and yet so profound.

New Hat

Whipped up this hat with Noro yarn I got while on retreat in April.  Thought I'd wear it while out running today but was too darned cold with the wind I figured it'd blast right through it so I wore another fleece had with a knitted headband over, which worked nicely.  I also had a knitted cowl but still, the face was cold and could only stand being out there for 3 miles instead of my usual 5.  While I beat myself up over the 2 missed miles, I thought to my mindful self, "mindful self, at least you got out there and made an attempt, and a quite good one at that considering how cold it was, so STOP looking at the negative!"  Ok, ok, I got it.
Be thankful for what you DO have not what you don't.  A good lesson.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Very exciting news.  My proposal to present The Happiness Knitting Project at the annual American Associates of Nurse Practitioners was accepted!!! Yippee!!!  I will be doing a poster presentation on the program, it's mission, focus, and how mindful knitting can decrease stress. 

Thanks to everyone who is participating and as the group grows, it will be fantastic to see how much less stress everyone has.  I'll keep you posted on the presentation and will have an exclusive sneak peak before the conference at our weekly meeting.  See you all tonight.

Winding Down or Gearing Up

Phew! a whirlwind of activity this past week.  It felt good to just relax today, run, read, meditate, yoga, eat leftovers for lunch AND dinner.  We did some "Shop Small" yesterday in Ft. Collins, CO.  Shop small or local as I call it is a near obsession of mine.  I ALWAYS try to support the locals. Being in a family of entrepreneurs, I understand how important it is to maintain the small business spirit in a world of big box corporate giants. At local shops you not only support your community economy but you get unsurpassed customer service and often deal directly with the owner who is a part of that community. 

Other than that bit of shopping yesterday, I've only been working on my crafted gifts and no other shopping.   I really wanted to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday, which is my favorite holiday actually.  It has all the makings of the perfect holiday; time with family and eating.  My two most favorite things in the world.  There's no all out decorating, shopping for gifts, card writing, wrapping, tree trimming, etc. etc.  Just eating and spending time together. 

Now that it's December, I will begin to make my list and check it twice, slowly getting my items checked off but I refuse to take part in the frenzy.  The black Friday knock-down drag out fights at some stores is beyond my comprehension as is the camping out the night before.  There is absolutely nothing I need/want enough to engage in either behaviors. 

So take a deep breath, do the holiday activities you enjoy and let the others go; start new traditions like stocking stuffers only.  This can be fun as it often takes a bit of creativity to figure out what to get/make that fits into a stocking.  Be creative and have fun instead of dreading the season.  I've scaled way back and I can tell you it has increased my joy and decreased my stress tremendously. 

Practice mindfulness during the season to remind yourself what's really important to you.  It can be as simple as you chose to make it, you don't have to fall prey to all the spending hype.  Take the "Shop Small" to heart and do your holiday small as well, it just may be the best holiday yet.

Gratitude

Another meaningful meeting last evening with our theme - gratitude.  We often find it difficult to express gratitude in the little everyday things as our lives are so busy.  The group concluded, however, that it's the little things that are what's important - sunsets, full moons, warm socks.  If we wait to express our thanks for the big things, many of the little things that really make a meaningful life can go unnoticed. 

It seems that everyone gets so caught up in the Christmas season with blaring black Friday ads and even Thanksgiving evening "black Friday" sales that we whisk right past Thanksgiving without reflecting on the importance of expressing gratitude for life's bounty.  Giving Christmas its due is fine but let us all relax, breathe and enjoy Thanksgiving and not just a day we have to get through so we can start on the next "real" holiday.

As we all sit around our dinner tables tomorrow, acknowledge all there is to be thankful for because life really is about all the meaningful little moments that make up our days. 

Happiness

This was our theme last evening at THKP meeting.  The group consensus was that happiness was contentment.  Not waiting for happiness to arrive when... or if only... but choosing to be happy with what you have right now.  This change in focus can be a huge paradigm shift in thinking from the pursuit of happiness to realizing you had the power all along

But where to start with the shift of focus?  Gratitude is a great way to be thankful for all you have.   Writing down what you're grateful each day is a profound way to realize there's always something to be thankful for.  Especially at this time of year, we tend to think more about thankfulness like family, a good meal, our home or whatever and those are all wonderful things to be thankful for.  But what about the other 364 days of the year?  By keeping a gratitude journal, you begin to see the little things that make your day happier.  At first it's the same things we're grateful for but then after a while we may find it more difficult to come up with something.  It's then the paradigm shift begins as we really look for things in our day that made us happier.  These are the little things we overlook like a smile from a stranger on the street, or a compliment from the bank teller, or finding a dime while out on a walk, a green light when we're in a hurry. 

When we spend our lives looking, searching for happiness in THE big thing, we miss the journey of all the little things that really are what makes a life.  So instead of working so hard on the pursuit, choose to be happy in all the little things that make up your day.  You will be amazed at how content you begin to feel and it will only be then that happiness settles in like a warm quilt.

Tonight's Meeting

After a brief guided mediation, we had a great evening discussing Viktor Frankl's Theory of Meaning.  The three basic concepts that all humans share are:  life purpose, attitude, and suffering.  He believes that all humans suffer but it's the attitude we choose to apply to that suffering and finding meaning in it that leads us to our life purpose.  Dr. Frankl had developed his theory some time before being interred in Nazi Concentration Camps where he lost his entire family except for one sibling.  It was here that he tested his theory and found those that found meaning in their unbelievable suffering were the ones to literally survive.  Helping another in any small way to alleviate their suffering gave his fellow prisoners purpose. 

Discovering your own life purpose can be found in the meaning in the little things in life.  When you suffer in any way, do you say "whoa is me?" or do you choose to learn from it?  As Dr. Frankl discovered in the concentration camps where he was stripped of every indignity, the only thing they couldn't take away from him was his attitude and how he chose to see the meaning in the situation.  Hopefully none of us will ever know such suffering, but still we all suffer.  It's the way we chose to attach meaning and move forward that one's life can flourish. 

Self-transcendence comes when we choose to find a way to help others in some small way alleviate their suffering.  To find some meaning in life that's bigger than us.  A larger purpose.

What is your life purpose? 

Meeting Tonight

On a lighter note, we will continue our weekly meetings at Nikki's Knots at 6 tonight.  I'm very excited and have invited a couple more ladies who I hope can join us.  It's a free evening out to learn ways to decrease stress with mindful knitting.  Please feel free to join us and by all means bring a friend.  We'll continue to teach people who are new to knitting to get them started but then I'd like the group to consider doing a project that can be donated to someone in need like comfort shawls for patients in the hospital or something similar.  We can talk about that as we go along. 

I made my first comfort shawl in June for a friend and it felt good to think about her and send healing thoughts into each stitch as I knitted it.  These are great first projects too and the sky's the limit in terms of design and yarn selection.

Although these two lovely ladies are decades older than all the knitters I know and certainly those attending The Happiness Knitting Project, they looked like such fun, I'd love to be friends with them.  :)

See you tonight at Nikki's
http://nikkisknots.com/

Casting On Disaster

So, it's 6am and I've measured out my 555.5 inches of delicious Malabrigo Belgium Chocolate chunky so I'll be ready to start the Knit Swirl club at Nikki's today and what happens....one of my interchangeable Knit Picks needles comes apart from where it's glued together.  Needless to say I'm fuming!!!! This is the second pair I've had trouble with.  I bought the entire set and got another DPNs set as a gift last year.  In their defense I will say they were very good about replacing the first set right away.  But really!!! Now a second pair.  AND it's always at the most inopportune moment, like when you're ready to start a class/project/gift with a deadline in minutes :)

So I sent them a scathing email already this morning and have employed gorilla glue so we'll see if that works at least until the new pair comes.  I love the look and feel of the wood of these needles but if I can't count on them to be durable, well then what's the point?  I know, lots of people are into the metal interchangeables but I don't like metal.  Want THESE to work, gosh darn it!!!!  Will keep you posted.

Documentary

As some of you may already know, I'm planning on a documentary for The Happiness Knitting Project with breast cancer patients.  This is in conjunction with my final doctoral capstone.  I'm in the very early conceptual phase but I've found a videographer so am VERY excited about it.  She's worked for many years in LA so knows what to do & who to contact whereas I have no clue.  But I'm sure going to figure it out.

I've gotten so much support from everyone I've talked to about this project that I can't wait to get started!!!! Now I just have to begin to look for funding.  Apparantly this doesn't come cheap!

Our First Session

Last night we had our first of weekly sessions for the Happiness Knitting Project.  It went well and what fun we had.  Laughter, chatting, and of course knitting.  We talked about mindfulness and how knitting can help us achieve that by being in the present moment while working on a project.  Our special spot at Nikki's Knots was perfect, quiet, cozy, and private like someone's living room.  Look forward to the group continuing to grow as word spreads.

Meetings Continue

A thank you to all the attendees at the kick off event on Tuesday.  I for one had a swell time.  We will continue "spreading happiness; reducing stress one ball of yarn at a time" on Tuesdays beginning this week on the 5th at 6pm at Nikki's Knots, 301 1/2 Hwy 24, Woodland Park, CO.

Come, join this group as we learn mindfulness, stress reduction, and knit! 

Library Launch

Wow! 14 people attended including teens. A wonderful introduction to The Happiness Knitting Project (THKP).  Stress reduction & much happiness all around.  Laughter & knitting...just what I'd hoped for. Thanks to Jami for video & Nikki for closing up shop to be there. Couldn't have done it without you ladies.  Stay tuned for the video upload.
Be sure to check out Nikki's site nikkisknots.com

THKP will continue meeting on Tues. Evenings @6pm at Nikki's Knots 301 1/2 Hwy 24, Woodland Park, CO

Library Event

Tomorrow evening from 6-8pm at the Woodland Park, CO library, I will be presenting The Happiness Knitting Project.  It will start with a brief presentation on how stress affects the body followed by a knitting session.  I can't wait to share happiness via my love for knitting and help people reduce their stress...one ball of yarn at a time.

Happiness: One ball of yarn at a time - Our Colorado News: Pikes Peak Courier View: Life

Happiness: One ball of yarn at a time - Our Colorado News: Pikes Peak Courier View: Life

Knitting for Knockers

October 26, 2013

A fun day to celebrate breast cancer awareness month.  We knitted breast prosthesis for donation to two local medical practices that serve breast cancer patients of Teller County, CO.  What fun and Donna did a great job of teaching us all how to read the pattern.  We spent the day knitting at Nuts N Bolts Needleworks, had some nosh and lots of chatting and laughter.  Here's what my first pair of knockers looks like. The first one I sewed together wrong so its a bit flat, but the 2nd one looks much more like the picture.  They went pretty fast after I figured out the pattern.  I'd say about 5hours each.

2nd Annual Women's Wellness & Renewal Retreat

October 5, 2013
This year's theme was Happiness, how to recognize it, how to get it and how to keep it.  A wonderful day of sharing, journaling, insight, yoga, organic food, and our art project The Happiness Knitting Project's debut.  What fun sharing my love of knitting with these ladies as a stress reduction tool. 

Donna shared her recent experience of knitting during flight delays and how in the past she'd not have stayed so calm.  It works!!! 

Wonder what next year's theme will be?  Any suggestions?