Hedonia vs Eudaimonia

Wow a coupla big words but what the heck do they mean?  They both can bring happiness but in very different ways.  Hedonia can bring fleeting happiness in  the present moment like buying that new sweater but it's always self-serving and brief.  This, I think, is what our forefathers were thinking when they gave us the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness.  In this way, we are always looking for or pursuing happiness because the moments must be repeated in order for the happiness feelings to remain.

Eudaimonia on the other hand is longer lasting.  It is a form of happiness according to Shelley Levitt (2013)  that "is centered on fulfilling our potential; it's driven by virtue and a higher purpose:  service to others,"  (p. 41).  This, then is a much deeper form of happiness.  When we make others happy, we can't help but achieve a level of happiness in our own hearts.  If this weren't the case, there would be no volunteers, no good deeders, no helping an elderly person across the street.

But what of our purpose?  We've talked about purpose and finding meaning.  We find meaning in our days and therefore purpose in our lives. Purpose is the bigger picture made up of all the little meaningful things we do every day.  Smiling to a stranger on the street, holding the door open for a mother struggling with a stroller, or any other of the multitudes of little things we do all the time that we don't even think about.

So to pursuit happiness, stop looking for the next big thing to bring you happiness because they're will always need to be something else to fill you up.  Decide to take yourself off the hedonic treadmill that is this life and look towards other things that can help another.  This reminds me of a poem I wrote several decades ago (it's the only one I've ever written):

As you go thru life wondering

take a step beyond

where the sidewalk ends

for it is there you will find your dream

Levitt, S. (2013).  The New Pursuit of Happiness.  Live Happy,1, 38-45.

Loving Kindness

We had a nice discussion at the meeting last evening about compassion and loving kindness.  Compassion towards others we can all identify and don't have as hard a time doing.  But when it comes to loving kindness towards ourselves that can get a bit trickier, especially when everyone is so busy living their lives.  As wives, mothers, caregivers we often put others' needs before our own but eventually we suffer for it.  Too many withdrawals and not enough deposits makes for an empty loving kindness bank account.  This can lead to compassion fatigue, which helps no one and you end up burned out.

Some ideas the ladies had for self-care include simple everyday little things like coming to the meetings on Tuesday evenings, having a cup of tea, taking the time to read a book or going out for an activity without the husband or family.  We also talked about surrounding ourselves with color we like in our yarn choices or home decorating, objects in our homes that give a sense of warmth, meaning, or invoke memories.  Although possessions are not necessarily how we show ourselves loving kindness, they can be of great comfort in terms of making our domicile cozy and reflect who we are. 

I made a list of some of  my favorite things I do for self-care:  meditation, yoga, running, journal writing, having a cup of tea in my favorite mug, quilting, knitting, gratitude prayer, cooking.  I don't necessarily do all of them everyday but I do make an effort to do several.  As you can see from my simple list, they're not big things but little everyday things that don't take a lot of time or effort or money.  The quilting and knitting I always try to keep a project in progress so even if I only have a short amount of time, I can do a little.  Even 15 minutes can improve my spirits.

What do you do to show yourself compassion and loving kindness?  What do you do for others?  Are your withdrawals higher than your deposits?

Compassion

Tonight's theme will be compassion, not only for others but ourselves. I love this meditation
Loving Kindness Meditation

May I be well
May I be happy
May I be free from suffering

You could replace all the "I's" with "you" if you wanted to send loving kindness to another. Very simple and yet so profound.

New Hat

Whipped up this hat with Noro yarn I got while on retreat in April.  Thought I'd wear it while out running today but was too darned cold with the wind I figured it'd blast right through it so I wore another fleece had with a knitted headband over, which worked nicely.  I also had a knitted cowl but still, the face was cold and could only stand being out there for 3 miles instead of my usual 5.  While I beat myself up over the 2 missed miles, I thought to my mindful self, "mindful self, at least you got out there and made an attempt, and a quite good one at that considering how cold it was, so STOP looking at the negative!"  Ok, ok, I got it.
Be thankful for what you DO have not what you don't.  A good lesson.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Very exciting news.  My proposal to present The Happiness Knitting Project at the annual American Associates of Nurse Practitioners was accepted!!! Yippee!!!  I will be doing a poster presentation on the program, it's mission, focus, and how mindful knitting can decrease stress. 

Thanks to everyone who is participating and as the group grows, it will be fantastic to see how much less stress everyone has.  I'll keep you posted on the presentation and will have an exclusive sneak peak before the conference at our weekly meeting.  See you all tonight.

Winding Down or Gearing Up

Phew! a whirlwind of activity this past week.  It felt good to just relax today, run, read, meditate, yoga, eat leftovers for lunch AND dinner.  We did some "Shop Small" yesterday in Ft. Collins, CO.  Shop small or local as I call it is a near obsession of mine.  I ALWAYS try to support the locals. Being in a family of entrepreneurs, I understand how important it is to maintain the small business spirit in a world of big box corporate giants. At local shops you not only support your community economy but you get unsurpassed customer service and often deal directly with the owner who is a part of that community. 

Other than that bit of shopping yesterday, I've only been working on my crafted gifts and no other shopping.   I really wanted to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday, which is my favorite holiday actually.  It has all the makings of the perfect holiday; time with family and eating.  My two most favorite things in the world.  There's no all out decorating, shopping for gifts, card writing, wrapping, tree trimming, etc. etc.  Just eating and spending time together. 

Now that it's December, I will begin to make my list and check it twice, slowly getting my items checked off but I refuse to take part in the frenzy.  The black Friday knock-down drag out fights at some stores is beyond my comprehension as is the camping out the night before.  There is absolutely nothing I need/want enough to engage in either behaviors. 

So take a deep breath, do the holiday activities you enjoy and let the others go; start new traditions like stocking stuffers only.  This can be fun as it often takes a bit of creativity to figure out what to get/make that fits into a stocking.  Be creative and have fun instead of dreading the season.  I've scaled way back and I can tell you it has increased my joy and decreased my stress tremendously. 

Practice mindfulness during the season to remind yourself what's really important to you.  It can be as simple as you chose to make it, you don't have to fall prey to all the spending hype.  Take the "Shop Small" to heart and do your holiday small as well, it just may be the best holiday yet.